Train up a child the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not depart from it.  -Proverbs 22:6

Our house is going to be home - a safe place, a place where God is alive and evident in the way that Dave and I live our lives, the way we speak, the way we speak to each other, the way we treat others, the way we treat each other, how we give and use our time, being open an honest to our children, praying for them and giving them over to God.

I know that these things may not always be a reality, but it is my prayer and my hope for our lives with children.  We're going to make mistakes along the way, but what better way to learn.

Dave and I have both gotten so much advice from everybody about the best ways to raise children, parent, etc.  The best advice we've received so far is 'Do whatever the heck you think is best'.  It may sound a bit cold, but how true for all parents.  

God has blessed us with this child.  He has entrusted Dave and I with caring, nurturing and raising this child to love his/her creator.  How beautiful and oh so scary!  In a way, it makes you feel a bit inadequate to parent, but it's such an honor.  

If I've learned one thing these 8 months of being pregnancy...is that PRAYER is the most effective tool for parenting. That is the truth!

Looking at my husband, his character, his love for the Lord and his drive...I have NO doubts that he is going to be an amazing father!

For Christmas he made me a coupon book with random coupons, and one was free nights sleep when baby is here! He is already thinking of me and giving himself to help me any way he can!  That's just the kind of person he is. He said he wants to watch Baby Funk, to give me nights out when baby's ready, he wants to help change diapers...I'm blessed! 

There's just some of my random thoughts this evening...God is good!

this man...

Born in Mexico, raised as a Texan...this man won my heart

He's super goofy, and only very few see his serious side, both I love equally

He's often misunderstood, but is the most intelligent person I know and a deep thinker

He's slow to anger, but very witty 

He honestly does not care what others think of him, and will always put others before himself

even if it means he has no time for himself

He's the hardest worker I know

He's gracious

loving

and compassionate...

but at times seems "hard as a rock"

He's loved me at my worst...

And wouldn't change a thing about me...

He's made me a better person and brought out the best qualities of me

Because of him,

I'm more selfless, patient and forgiving and always give others the benefit of the doubt

I love how he giggles and sings - serenading me to my favourite country song 

(making up his own words of course)

He tells me he'll love me "as long as there are stars in the sky"

We've been married 5 years now...

It hasn't always been "easy" but I wouldn't change a thing.

Only this man can make me laugh when I'm miserable

Listens

and gives honest insight - even when I'm wrong

He has wiped my tears, helped mend my wounds and picked me up when I've fallen

This man, is my best friend.

my lover 

and my rock

new life, new lives

New life.

It's a beautiful thing.  After suffering a miscarriage just over a year ago, the concept of new life brings a whole new meaning to me.

I'm currently 32 weeks 6 days pregnant, and cannot thank my God enough for allowing me the privilege of caring this new life.  This new life that my husband and I created together.  I had my last ultrasound yesterday and got to see our little one move, kick and wiggle in my womb and cannot even begin to describe the feeling.  It was perfect.

I LOVE being pregnant. Don't get me wrong; it's uncomfortable, my ribs are permanently bruised from being my baby's footrest, I miss sleeping on my belly, heartburn, back pain, leg pain...I could go on.  Despite all of those things, being pregnant has been the most amazing experience of my life, thus far. I wouldn't change anything.  I'll take those pains 10x over again...as long as it meant our baby was healthy.

I'm counting down the days to the arrival of Baby Funk.  Anticipating that moment when I can hold him/her skin to skin, our baby will look at me, just knowing I'm their mommy and hubby is their daddy!  Us both knowing our life, our decisions will now be for our baby, taking care of this life God has blessed us with.

Our lives are currently are full with ministry and work and just life.  I don't necessarily like to call our current schedule, 'busy'.  The fulfillment in being able to give my time, my spiritual gifts to a ministry has changed me more than I could even say.  God calls us to be selfless with our lives because this life is not our own.  It gives me less time for "myself", but has allow our marriage to grow, and most importantly, my relationship with my Lord to grow.  And the relationship between my God and I is the most important.  People often call our schedules, "too busy", but I can't picture our lives without it...yet.

I know a baby will change our current life, into something new, something beautiful.   We're both excited to bring our baby into our schedule, adjusting it to where we see fit, still serving our Lord, even if it's in new ways.

It's all just beginning....

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

“Has your relationship with God changed the way you live your life?” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

‎"Do you know that nothing you do in this life will ever matter, unless it is about loving God and loving the people he has made?” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

“Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

“Something is wrong when our lives make sense to unbelievers.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

“Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God

One of my main goals in THIS life is to not be a selfish person.  Easier said that done, I know.  I have been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and it seriously has been changing the way I look at my life and the way I look at God's people.

How often do we judge someone who walks by us in Walmart, or in the mall - their size, the way the dress, their facial expressions, etc. etc. etc.  

I'm embarressed to know the number of times I have judged someone subconsiously.  We don't know their story, we don't know what they're dealing with at home, we don't know anything about them and yet we think we have the right to say something.

Pray for them. 

Love them. 

Honestly, since I've been so aware, it now breaks my heart each time I hear it.  Or each time I catch myself, I think that's God's child, created in God's image. It is a fallen world, and what makes me think I'm better.  I am a mess myself.

We're all just messed up people in a fallen world - and God can see past my screwed up self and love me anyway.  That is love. 

I'm sick of defending who I'm not

Footsteps in the wrong direction 

Claiming my identity

Hide my face from your expression 

While the world takes hold of me

I'm sick of pretending 

This is who I am

I'm sick of defending

Who I am not

Guide my feet 

Let my eyes see only you

Take my heart

I'm falling back on you

Consequences for my defeat 

Unmasking the one who used to be  

Now the world sees "the real me"

My creator sees "authentic beauty"

I came across this the other day.  I wrote this at a very trying time in my life.  I didn't know who I really wanted to be.  My convictions were running my life, literally.  I was such a defensive person, and I thought I was defending what I believed in, but I was really covering up my guilt and convictions.  This is just a little piece of what I've fought through and what I have overcome.  I know that I'm not even close to being who God wants me to be, but I'm a work in progress.  

I want to encourage you today, to let God lead.  It's scary, and usually not where you feel like you want to be, but once you're in it...you won't want to leave.  For me it meant making some changes and realizing the world didn't revolve around Jody!  I was completely humbled!  Trust me to whoever is reading, it isn't always going to be easy, but it's worth it!  People will see your different, your actions will speak for themselves!  My defensiveness usually came from being "preached at", you shouldn't wear that, you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't be there...but once you let God lead your life, you'll know what to do!  

bucket list part 1

I realize it has been a couple of months since I've posted.  I have received some feedback from people I don't know who have read my blog, and how my life experiences have impacted them in some way.  I figure if God can work through me somewhat through this, I'm open!

Have you written a bucket list?  I have, here's what I want to accomplish before God takes me home:

• Continue to better my faith. It's simply that, faith, not religion.  
• Keep a strong Godly marriage.  One of my greatest passions is to have a marriage like my parents have, a marriage that our future kids would attain to.  Choose to stay in love forever. 
• Have a family - I have always wanted 4 kids. 
• Overcome my fear of failure
• Overcome my emetophobia 
• Learn to sew & knit
• To love the way Jesus loves
• Skydive and/or bungee jump
• To become friends with as many non-Christians as I can
• Be on the Price is Right
• Catch fireflies in a jar
• Ride on a gondola through the canals of Venice
• Visit the Grand Canyon 
• Go on an Alaskan Cruise
• Finish our basement 
• Leave my hand prints in wet cement
• Learn how to snowboard
• Go to a drive-in with my hubby
• Continue to have 1 date night a week, even after we have kids
• Live in the country somewhere with a wraparound porch
• To smile everyday
• Always give people the benefit of the doubt
• Make someone's day
• Pay for someone's groceries
• Live a life, I would want my kids to live
• Be nice to someone who is being rude
• Pay off all our debt
• Ride in a hot air balloon 
• Have my hubby teach me how to ride a motorcycle 
• To ALWAYS stand up for what I believe - even when it's hard.  Still working on this one.
• Lead someone to Christ

These are just some of the things I have accumulated throughout the years from my journal.  Maybe I'll do a Part 2.

strong enough for the both of us

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." 
~Exodus 14:14

Just Those Few Weeks

For just those few weeks

I had you to myself.

And that seems too short a time

to be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks,

I came to know you...

and to love you.

You came to trust me with your life.

Oh what a life I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks...

when I lost you,

I lost a lifetime of hopes,

plans, dreams and aspirations.

A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.

Just those few weeks...

It wasn't enough time to convince others

how special and important you were.

How odd, a truly unique person has recently died

and no one is mourning the passing.

Just a mere few weeks..

And no "normal" person would cry all night

Over a tiny unfinished baby,

or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.

No one would, so why am I??

You were just those few weeks, my little one.

You darted in and out of my life too quickly.

But it seems that's all the time you needed

to make my life richer

and to give me a small glimpse of eternity.

~S. Erling

  

A few weeks can change a lifetime.  Believe it or not, March/April were almost as hard as September 2012.  A lot of rehashing old wounds.  I came across this poem the other day and it describes my feelings perfectly.  Thankfully, in the midst of all the pain comes many blessings.  


So, I've decided to make a list of the beauty in the broken:

• I've built relationships with girls who can relate to me, relationships that I didn't have before.  They have often been a listening ear and so understanding of my roller coaster ride. They didn't offer pity, just sincere sadness, but hope that we'll see our babies in heaven one day.  
• I've been able to be that listening ear to girls who've been there after me, praying somehow God can use me.  My heart breaks every time. 
• My marriage is stronger than ever.  Dave and I can sit and dream about our future, we can talk about our future kids again without there being immense sadness.  The Lord has truly blessed me with a rock in the form of my husband.  I do not thank God enough for him.  
• I am truly thankful for the friends God has sent in my life.  They are always there when I need to unwind and often offer a breath of fresh air with not too much talk of pregnancy, etc.  
• Even though we don't have kids of our own, yet, Dave and I can still have a blast together.  I have a healthy husband who loves me with all his heart.  I enjoy whatever we do together...Dave always has a  way of making it fun. God has blessed me.  I don't want to take for our time together, before kids.  

I could go on forever about the many blessings I have in my life.  God is good, all the time.