pure bliss

As I look back on my life thus far and see how far I've come, it's pure bliss. My testimony changes so often, especially this year, losing baby Funk and two grandpas. It hasn't been an easy year.

Growing up as a "people-pleaser", I had these inner battles with my mind.  I would literally lay in bed for hours fighting with my thoughts.  If somebody offended me, hurt me, wronged me; if someone close to me was in trouble, and I couldn't do anything about it; if I offended someone with my actions...all of these things would literally kill my inmost being.

I am proud to say that I have done a lot of growing up. People's random opinions of me aren't as important because I know who I am. If someone offends me or is rude to me, it doesn't matter...honestly. Only very few people's opinions matter and those same people can make me lie in bed awake at night.

With the help of God, I have taught myself that if I treat others the way I want to be treated, that's all that matters.  Even if these same people don't treat me the same way back.  I will always strive to love, even if I've been wronged.  I will strive to love, even if I've been offended.  I will love myself, even if I've been discouraged. Once again, I know who I am and who my parents raised me to be.

Don't get me wrong, I have my days.  But I know that I can always go home and vent to my husband...my safe place.  Trust me, I take advantage of this. This keeps me going and he is constantly checking me and encouraging me. I am blessed.

I know the person I want to be, and I'm not quite there yet.  I will strive to be that person every day of my life.