TV Grandpa

Grandpa,

Do you remember what I used to call you?  Not to your face, but when I would speak of you or about you, you were always TV Grandpa (and Grandma).  This would simply explain the difference between you and my other grandparents, who never owned a TV. So I had a TV grandma and grandpa and a chalkboard grandma and grandpa.

Do you remember when I used to sit on your lap, and would empty the pocket you had on your shirt?  Every time I did this I would find the same things; a pen, a notebook, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes.  We made this a habit; something I had to do every time I came to your house.  It was our thing.

Even to this day, when I smell cigarette smoke, I think of you.  I know it was a habit that you were never proud of.  After you had your heart attack, you quit smoking.  Almost 2 years and you were smoke free. I was so proud of you, Grandpa.    

I wish I would have told you more that I loved you.  But that's not really how we did things.  I think we've always both had an understanding of our love; you were my grandpa and I was your granddaughter.  You had ten grandchildren, and acquired three more through marriage.  You were always so proud of all of us, despite our differences.

Grandpa, you were stubborn, but something changed in you the last couple of months you were here with us on earth.  You were soft, kindhearted, and so grateful for the life you had.  I admire this about you.

My mom is still very sad knowing that you're gone, but she's strong, like you. The night you passed, she had to bring grandma home and she stayed strong the whole time. You would have been proud of her.

Grandma is healing, but she still has sadness in her eyes.  She had said that it was easier having you here, even though you were suffering.  She misses having you around.

You probably have met your great-grandchild already.  My heart is still sad knowing that they can't be with me and Dave, but I'm so happy that they can be with you and their heavenly Father. I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant almost a week after you passed. I'm praying the Lord will bless Dave & I with more children.

We're all okay though, Grandpa.  We miss you and it's not the same without you.

Love:

Jody